I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
