oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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