Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize