I'm passing your future prison.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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