Pappa wants mamma naked
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
