Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
