Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
