So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
