Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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