someone get that fucking seahorse.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
