please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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