Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
