I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
