Christians are straight up FREAKS
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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