we're chasing vodka with high fives
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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