"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
