I can tuck mytits in my pants
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
