Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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