READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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