girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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