I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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