i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
