u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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