then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
