About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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