Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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