You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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