And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have fence marks all over my body
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
