so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
