blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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