dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
