It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
