theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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