It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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