i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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