Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I can text with my tongue
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
