is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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