Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
