Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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