I hope mine doesn't look like that
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
