i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
