How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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