none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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