is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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