my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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