my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
