All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
