so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
