Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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