I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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